Every time I am excited and happy to move I feel the same. Why is my wife so boring in bed?
But I know this is not only me and there are tons of people who think the same as I do and even you have the same question.
There can be no simple answer in one line to explain why a wife is boring in bed.
Now before proceeding towards the signs, causes, and solution for this problem let me share what other husbands told me when I speak to them.
Keep in mind you both need to work on this as if this may spoil your relationship.
Why is my Wife so Boring in Bed (What Husband Says)
In the past 2 years, I spoke to many men that is sex with wife is boring or only I feel this.
Trust me I came across tons of suggestions and problems that other husbands also have.
However, I felt relaxed as someone said whenever you feel alone or sad, look for similar people or who are in more pain than you.
Anyways, let me share the thoughts of a few husbands who I spoke to.
Sad Husband 1 🙍 – It’s been 2 years since I got married and since then every time I get close to my wife to have sex, it’s just sex with no real pleasure. She seems to be interested in sex but just missionary as she stopped giving me a blowjob and handjob.
Sad Husband 2 🙍 – We got married about 15 years back. I am 52 and my wife is 46 and I only get close to my wife when I am too mad to have sex as she does nothing to make me excited. I thought I am the only one who feels “Why is my wife so boring”
Sad Husband 3 🙍 – This happened suddenly as she was not so before. She was a woman that could spice up the bedroom but not anymore.
I notice this for the last couple of months and I am still wondering is she is not interested in sex or in me.
Though there are many other people I spoke to and all of them have questions too along with their problems.
Solutions & Signs your Wife is Boring in Bed
Now on my personal experience and other husband’s experience let me share a few signs that your wife is bored in bed.
If you are around 60 you must know what does a 60-year-old man want in bed as this will give you some additional information.
Read all of them as after this I will share how to gain her interest back or make her spicy from boring.
#1 – She is not comfortable with her body and Sex
You must read this carefully as there are still few girls and women that are not comfortable with her body and sex.
She wants to be intimate but not wildly, neither does she know much about sexual pleasure.
I am sure she would even not feel comfortable in sex with lights on.
She will neither be interested in Doggy style, handjob, or a blowjob.
This can be because of two major reasons
- She is more religious as no religion teaches to have such sex with lots of spice and wildness.
- She never had sex before or any interest and so she is either scared or uncomfortable
What to DO
- You know the reasons and if the same matches with your wife, better start working on it.
- If she was or is religious, then better take her to some romantic places and let her feel the taste of sex.
- Give her more love and respect as don’t let her feel that you are all doing this for only sex as you know this is to improve your relationship.
- If she does like to have sex with lights on, then better keep the lights off but focus more on foreplay.
Overall, you need to do all those things that will make her feel real pleasure.
#2 – She is Hiding
This can really spoil your relationship if you are not transparent with each other or do not spend enough time together.
Possibly there is something wrong with her and she is hiding from you due to which she is really stressed or not able to focus on the relationship.
Either she might be scared or don’t feel like sharing with you.
Now you need to understand during such stress and discomfort she can only have sex missionary.
What you can do
You need to work on this if you really care about your relationship.
If she is hiding something with you probably this can be your mistake. Hey, don’t take it otherwise. I mean you may have no idea that she can hide something from you but you must understand why she is hiding.
I would recommend you better take her on a vacation or a place that she really loves.
- Speak about the good moments you spend with her.
- Be sorry without any reason and let her feel that you really made any mistake as she probably will try to discuss it with you.
- Share positive thoughts and plan about your future.
If still, nothing comes out from her, better go ahead and ask politely “Is something distracting you or anything wrong”.
#3 – Change in Hormones
Hormonal changes in females can drive a big impact on sexual life. She might have pain during intercourse and due to which she might not be interested in sex.
This can also lead to unstable mood and sleep and so she may react weirdly.
Now I just gave you an example of the consequences of female hormonal change as there can be many other problems with her.
What to Do
Every solution in a relationship starts with a healthy conversation so first speak to her gently.
Ask for the problem and if she feels like some sudden changes in her that can be a hormonal change.
You can bring her sexual desire to have full pleasure for both of you.
Better consult experts and go with therapies like Estrogen and Testosterone therapy.
#4 – She has Low-self Esteem
I am not sure this is the case but It was with one of the relationships I know where the wife had low-self esteem problems.
Let me explain a few signs of low-self esteem and how a wife becomes boring in bed due to this.
She may even feel lonely as no one discusses her problems.
- Your wife is continuously tolerating your bad behavior and feels responsible for that.
- She may feel negative and consider others better than her.
- Sudden change in social engagement, either her interest has increased or decreased.
What to Do
This is the time when she needs you and you are a doctor here that needs to treat your wife both as patient as well as wife.
I am sharing a few tips suggested by the husbands and experts that you must try
- Never let her feel that she is bored in bed now.
- Speak to her at some romantic and silent place. Let her know how you feel now and ask about her feelings and make her speak. You need to be an active listener here and try your best to make her speak.
- Before intimation, perform foreplay to get her in the mood.
What else you can do is let her drink before intimation and if you find changes in the way she intimate after drinking then surely this is self-esteem or some stress issues.
#5 – She is looking for Pleasure
She is looking for more pleasure while you are busy thinking and observing why my wife is so boring in bed.
Men always think of their pleasure and forget women’s expectations are not less than that.
What you can do is start thinking about her for a few days
- You better start by mapping her body with lots of love and kisses.
- Focus on the clitoris and continue until she invites you for sex.
- Better go with tantric sex where you need to focus on low on organs and more on the pleasure received by them.
Additionally, you can also use some sex toys like a powerful wand Massager and this all will surely explore the real pleasure she was missing.
Once you apply these tips, you will find a change and the exact cause behind her boredness in bed.
#6 – Interested in Someone Else
This is hard to hear but real bitter truth. Your wife will start losing interest in you if she is not interested in you anymore and she is just with you because you are her husband.
If she is interested in someone else or has external affairs there can be many reasons
- She has affair before the marriage
- She is not getting any kind of love and care from you for a long time
- Probably you are not able to satisfy her on the bed or your organ size is small.
These are just a few examples and there can be many more reasons. Now what you must do is
- Never ask her that you doubt her as this will break her hesitation and she may reveal that she is not interested in you anymore.
- Better bring a change in yourself and start with spending more time with her. Even go for a long vacation and give lots of attention to her along with love and care.
- Better plan for a good surprise. Remember you need to gain her attention back which is only possible with love and change she was looking at you for a long time.
- Follow the above suggestion of giving her pleasure as you need to make sure you are not missing anything.
#7 – Fix Unresolved Issues between you
This was an issue with me and how I managed this, let me share with you.
About 5 months back, we had a very serious argument that was because of our parents. Though she was right in her place I never thought about that and even slapped her for misbehaving.
Later I never felt sorry for her and since then she has changed a little and never told me about this. Finally, I thought about this and I took her on a vacation to a hill station as she really loved hills.
I made her happy and before dinner, I bent on my knees and apologized for my behavior.
I never told why I am doing this and only expressed as I realized I was wrong. You won’t believe I found the change from the same night.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Is it normal to not want to sleep with your Wife?
If this happens sometimes this would be normal as perfection and mood are not always present.
But this is happening for a long time then this is not normal for a relationship and can be normal for us.
I mean there are a couple of people who feel the same so it’s normal but you cannot ignore this as this can spoil the relationship.
Better work in as explained above.
What do you do when your wife is uninterested sexually?
The first thing is you must dig around and speak to her for the reasons.
Why she is not interested as there can be many reasons and as what I know most of them can be fixed.
So better speak to her in a proper way.
Be kind to her, show more love, respect, and care.
Things a woman can do to spice up the bedroom?
If a woman is sexually interested and happy in a relationship she can really spice up your bedroom.
– She will play with your body and organs.
– This can be extended to a handjob or a blowjob.
– Some foreplay before intimating.
Hopefully, you got an answer that why my wife is so boring in bed as why your wife is boring in bed.
It’s up to you now how seriously you care about your relationship including both with love and sexually. You must find out the reasons with the help of the above points and experiences I shared above.
If you successfully fix the problems between your relationship or your wife’s issues I am pretty sure this will bring up lots of pleasure and a long-life relationship.
Kindly share your experience as well in the comment box.